Saturday, November 23, 2013

Rap Corner: Inspiration from Lil Wayne

It's been a while since my last rap-spiration, so here you go...

There you have it, folks. Look forward. Spend your time planning and working towards your goals. One day, you can make your dreams come true. Thanks Lil Wayne. 

Monday, September 30, 2013

Rap Corner: Inspiration from Lil Wayne

Many people laugh at me when I tell them that I love Lil Wayne. That's fine. Laugh all you want, but he's still living life large, doing what he wants, and rapping about whatever the hell he wants (or rhymes). Which brings me to my post. Feel inspired people. You've got goddam Lil Wayne sage advice coming your way.

Do you go wherever your creativity takes you? Do you do whatever the fuck you want without worrying about what other people will think of you? Something tells me that very few people can absolutely say yes to my question. I think it's all time for us to relax a little, let loose, and become short, drug-abusing, creative rappers.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

The top 5 Reasons I Wish I was David Bowie

The other day I posed a question to my roommates. It was:

I thought about it and as far as I could see, there is really only one right answer.

I mean just look at him. He is fucking fabulous.

Which lead me to this blog post and what it's really all about.

5.  Two different colored eyes.

4.. This music video. Watch all the way to the end to catch the full booty shakes.

3. He has an alter ego named Ziggy Stardust, and performed as Ziggy for tours across the world. Could you get away with that shit? Can you make love to your ego? Doubt it. He has also have several other alter egos, such as Halloween Jack. 

2. During his 2004 world tour, he was followed around by a pink bunny. Buzzfeed reports:

"The bunny showed up in the front row [at] all his shows, which Bowie wasn't too concerned about, saying, "I thought, 'Hey, it's rock'n'roll. It's just a 5 ft 3 in bunny'."

"According to him, things got very strange as he was taking off from New York, "Then we got on the plane out of New York and the bunny was on board. The guy was still in costume."

"The person in the costume has never been identified.

1.5 He is the prettiest man you've ever fucking laid your eyes on. 

1.3 He is the prettiest fucking woman you've ever laid your eyes on.

1. The MOTHERFUCKING LABYRINTH!!! aka The best movie of all time no matter what you say or think.

If you could have been anyone in the 80's, who would it be? Would it be David Bowie? (Any other answer besides David Bowie is wrong anyways, but I'd still like to hear).

Oh, and don't forget to say hello if you see me around @JoleneHaley.

Friday, September 6, 2013

BuzzFeed Would You Rather: Tyler Edition

So I'm the Tyler from Tyler's Classics Meet Pop Culture. In my section of #RadVag I'll give you some entertaining/thoughtful/inappropriate/ridiculous posts that you AND your mom can enjoy. Right now I'm working on a post that will make you love and hate me at the same time. UNTIL THEN, I wanted to post this Buzz Feed article my lovely non-gay, lesbian lover sent me. (Thanks, V-dawg!)

It's called The 15 Hardest "Would You Rather" Questions You Will Ever Be Asked (by Dave Stopera) and I want to answer ALL OF THEM here.

BuzzFeed counts as Pop Culture, right? And "Would You Rather" questions are CLASSIC! It makes sense to me. Plus, don't you want to get to know me?!

Yes, yes you do.

So let's get this party started!

1. Would you rather A) Be 4'5" or B) Be 7'7"?
Answer: 4'5". I want to be cuddled by giants.

2. Would you rather A) Have legs as long as your fingers or B) Have fingers as long as your legs?
Answer: Fingers as long as my legs -- shooting birds would be that much more satisfying.

3. Would you rather A) Be able to run at 100 miles per hours or B) Or fly at 10 miles per hour?
Answer: Fly. WHEN the zombie apocalypse happens I want to be able to hover over the chaos as a god.

4. Would you rather A) Sweat mayo or B) Have to poop a softball?
Answer: Sweat mayo. It would give me a good excuse never to exercise again. No exercise = no mayo sweating.

5. Would you rather A) Talk like Jar Jar Binks (You are not allowed to kill yourself.) or B) Look like Jar Jar Binks (You are not allowed to kill yourself)?
Answer: This is cruel. Can I just have sex with him instead?

6. Would you rather A) Have a dragon or B) Be a dragon?
Answer: Have a dragon. It would save on gas.

7. Would you rather A) Be sexually attracted to fruit or B) Have Cheetos dust permanently stuck on your fingers?
Answer: I'm already sexually attracted to fruit.

8. Would you rather A) Never have to worry about money or B) Live in a world with Pokemon?
Answer: Oh my goodness, I would LOVE to live in a world with Pokemon. If I was poor there I would use a Charizard to rob EVERY BANK IN THAT WORLD!

9. Would you rather A) Be the BEST racquetball player in the world or B) Find $65 on the street?
Answer: The best racquetball player. I'd live a crazy, wild life with so many dramatic downs that, when I finally got on top, I'd be offered a movie/book deal. In fact, this is my back up plan in life.

10. Would you rather A) Speak any language fluently or B) Be able to talk to animals?
Answer: Speaking to my cat is a lifelong dream.

11. Would you rather A) Not have sex with a goat, and have everyone think you had sex with a goat or B) Have sex with a goat, but no one will ever find out?
Answer: No one has found out so far.

12. Would you rather A) Only be able to whisper or B) Only be able to shout?
Answer: I'm already incapable of whispering.

13. Would you rather A) Eat a pinecone or B) Poop a pinecone?
Answer: It depends -- how many calories is a pinecone?

14. Would you rather A) Change gender every time you sneeze or B) Not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
Answer: If I could change gender every time I sneezed, my sex life would be UNSTOPPABLE!

15. Would you rather A) Watch your parents have sexy every day of your life or B) Join in once to stop it?
Answer: Can I just pull an Oedipus Rex and burn my eyes out with candles? (See! Classics meet pop culture right there!)

Well, there's my About Me in the form of ridiculous/relevant questions! Would you have answered differently?

And again, make sure you check out the original post here for their funny ass answers to each question!

Thanks, BuzzFeed for derailing my productivity on a daily basis!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Brain, Athlete, Basket Case, Princess, Criminal

This weekend marks the first weekend I haven't been obsessing over editing my book like a deranged fairy on five hour energy... technically fifteen hour energy when you take three. That's a fun crash, by the way.

So, in celebration of all things RAD- I'm going to sit my ass down on the couch and watch John Hughes movies all weekend. Netflix has a few and I have the fucking rest. If you don't own the Breakfast Club- seriously, fuck off. Right now. Go get it. What the hell is wrong with you?

And John Bender- I'm sorry, John Bender was the greatest mother fucker to ever walk the fictional earth... and like all misunderstood rebels he feeds on hypocrisy [Pitch Perfect]. I have a thing for bad boys with heart... it's kind of like a hooker with a heart of gold only you might get punched. Just punch back!

While all of these movies are amazing and quotable- I think Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club are my favorites. Jake Ryan? The Geek? Hey sexy girlfriend?

And will you hurry it up? I'm breaking like 30 major laws here! 

Anyway... any weekend is a good weekend for a Hughes marathon. Am I right?

Movies on the list are:

Directed by Hughes:
Ferris Buellar's Day Off
The Breakfast Club
Curly Sue
Sixteen Candles 
Written by Hughes:
Pretty in Pink
Mr. Mom
Some Kind of Wonderful

Jump in anytime and throw me some tweets! @fictionalchick

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Hey There!

The Rad Vag Book club is a book review blog run by three chicks with a range of love for the 80s and early 90s... yeah- even the clothing. Music, books and lots of neon. We spend a good portion of our time revisiting our childhoods and thinking... what. the. fuck? We also drink a lot... especially when reviewing older series.