Cara's Crappy Movie Review

I Love Shitty Movies.

I have a serious problem with loving crappy movies... and not so crappy movies... or even just movies from the 80s and 90s that are now hysterical to watch because everyone looked thirty five in high school.

My must watch list is as follows (this page is under construction):

Prayer of the Rollerboys (1990)
Playing dysotopian anarchy before it was cool.
I always say, any movie you can fully watch on YouTube has gotta be amazing. Add in Corey Haim and a splash of Patricia Arquette... how can you NOT watch this movie? Just look at that picture... the graceful form, the determined expressions, the swag trench coats... the assault rifles. This screams I want to make a serious movie about roller blading in a dysotopian future... but I'd like to keep it real with some beige. This movie just paved the way for the virtual mind fuck that was Hackers. After all, there’s nothing cooler than ROLLER BLADING.

Let me give you one good reason to watch this movie right now. Baby Mark Pellegrino is in it. For those of you Supernatural fans- Pellegrino plays the devil in the later seasons. He's also in shows like Revolution and Dexter. I dig him. He always plays a good jerkoff. He has about six seconds in this movie but it's worth it.

Oh you want another reason? Hmmm... white supremacist roller blading drug dealers with guns, Mark Pellegrino... oh Corey Haim is in it. You know my boy Corey? (Godspeed- pour one out for my homie) This was one of his power movies... like he's super cool. It's like his character in License to Drive meshed with the fashion sense of his character in Lost Boys, and just went ape shit. Let's just go ahead and say this movie was what Elysium should have been- if only Corey Haim had been alive to save it.

Listen, you have zero excuses not to watch this movie. At least, that’s what my husband says. I’m still not really sure what the prayer is… something to do with white power.

I should also mention this film was written by the guy who wrote Point Break AND it won two Saturn Awards: Best Performance by a Younger Actor (Corey Haim) and Best Science Fiction Film. Suck on that Ridley Scott.

Movies You Should Stuff Your Eyes With: (will be posting about them soon.)
The Last Dragon
Troop Beverly Hills
Judge Dredd
The Craft
Hackers (yes, twice, what?)

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